Gifts of the Heart
by Valairy Scot
Summary: On a day with two meanings: celebration and anniversary, one happy and one sad, ObiWan Kenobi gives his padawan a gift of the heart and receives it back.


"Where are we going, Master?"

"You'll see when we get there, Padawan." Obi-Wan Kenobi only smiled as his young apprentice scowled. The question, the answer, the scowl and smile had been repeated approximately every ten minutes over the last few hours. Despite harboring some doubt about the wisdom of what the Force was having him do, he looked forward to seeing his padawan's delight.

"You never tell me anything!"

"Well, that would spoil the surprise, wouldn't it?" And there it was again – the outthrust lip, the glare and the mischievous glint that still managed to shine through. A light hand ruffled the short golden hair before sliding down to tug the small braid behind an ear.

"Hey!"

"You want me to stop?" A raised eyebrow brought the same response: an uncertain shrug of small shoulders that would not dare to admit the gesture's absence would be sorely missed.

"Well, then. I won't do it again."

"Master!" The indignation in Anakin's tone did make Obi-Wan laugh this time.

_

* * *

By the Force, nothing much has changed_, the Jedi thought. He had timed his arrival perfectly. The air was warm, but not uncomfortably so, the winds dying down. Now came the hard part. Just how did one maneuver a boy without blindfold or hood? 

"If I ask, can you close your eyes and keep them closed, Padawan?"

"Yes, Master."

"No, Master, you mean," Obi-Wan said, studying the boy. He didn't need the Force to tell him what was so apparent in the eager face. Familiarity had given him an insight missing in the beginning.

"I have an idea. I'm going to carry you -," a yelp of indignation was overridden, "and if you dare to move, well, I'll think of something sufficiently horrible, say, two hours of meditation a day for a week."

"You wouldn't dare. Master." In a smaller voice, Anakin added, "Would you?"

Obi-Wan gave his padawan a stern look. He had had enough practice by now to nearly perfect the master's non-verbal tools: a stern look that hid inner amusement was his most accomplished one.

"Up you go," he said cheerfully, hoisting the boy into his arms and tucking his head against his shoulder. At least, according to his directions, he didn't have far to go. Using the Force to both hide their destination from Anakin's own probing in the Force as well as help in carrying a growing boy was taxing his strength somewhat.

They finally arrived at their destination and the promised surprise.

"Don't look yet. It's four hours of meditation if you do," he warned, setting the boy down. "Keep your eyes closed and turn around."

The Jedi knelt behind the ten-year-old, hands covering the boy's eyes. "I hope you like your surprise," he said softly and leaned back on his heels.

"Mom!" A blur of small boy collided with a smiling woman, arms outstretched, kneeling several paces away.

"Ani!"

Mother and son embraced each other. Small arms snaked around the woman's neck and Anakin sniffled tears of pure joy against her shoulder. The Force sang with joy and happiness, sparkling much like the night sky seen from deep within the galaxy.

"My little Ani – you've grown."

Mother and son hugged, talked, hugged some more while Obi-Wan slowly stood and watched, a small smile playing over his lips. Neither noticed when the young man slowly left them to their reunion. No one noticed as the young man rounded a corner and no passerby cared when that young man leaned against a wall, wiping his eyes.

He looked to the darkening skies and tried to smile. "Someone loved me. Once," he whispered into the sky, and the Force softened around him in return. He brushed a hand across his eyes and headed down the street to the room he had rented. "A room for one," was the reservation he'd made. This special night was for Anakin and Shmi Skywalker to share and one Obi-Wan Kenobi would spend alone.

It was Gifts of the Heart eve on Tatooine…

…and the one-year anniversary of Obi-Wan Kenobi's knighting – one year since Qui-Gon Jinn's death.

That night's events had taken a piece of his heart away, and the Force had gifted him with something to replace that missing piece, a boy he had learned to love. Tonight he had given that boy a piece of his own heart back, and he had defied the entire Jedi council in order to do so.

Obi-Wan had chosen to follow the Force and his heart, a heart shaped by one who was now gone and still being molded by one who would return to him in the morning.

* * *

"Mom, did Threepio ever get finished? What did you do with all the money Qui-Gon gave you? You're not free, are you? Are you coming to Coruscant with us?"

"Slow down, Ani, slow down. So many questions, my son, you haven't changed a bit when you're excited." Shmi smiled at her son, giving him a little shake. She looked up – and paused, confused. The gesture reminded Anakin of his manners, now that the first flush of excitement was fading.

"Mom, I want you to meet Obi-Wan, my master," Anakin said, tugging on one hand as he turned around, but there was no one standing behind him; no one standing off to the side arms crossed in the patient position he was so familiar with. "Mom, where'd he go? Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan!"

"I don't know Ani," Shmi said, looking around. "I want to meet this man who is raising my son to be a Jedi. Let's look for him; he can't be far, can he? He must know I want to thank him for his gift this evening."

"Gift?"

"Have you forgotten, Ani? Already? It's Gifts of the Heart eve, and your master has given me, a perfect stranger, the most perfect gift in the entire galaxy, and you, his charge, the gift of your heart, or so he claimed when he contacted me. I'm your gift, and you are mine."

A tenderhearted boy looked at his mom and whispered, "What gift does my master get?"

_

* * *

What gift of the heart do you desire, Obi-Wan Kenobi?_

A Jedi does not need gifts.

_Jewels?_

I have jewels within my eyes reach when I stand under the stars.

_Peace?_

Peace – ah, but peace cannot be gifted. Peace must be worked for, earned.

_Power?_

I have the Force, and its power I wield on its behalf. No more do I need.

_Happiness?_

Happiness comes from within. It is a gift to the self, not a gift from others.

_What gift, then, would please you?_

The one I have already. To know – someone once loved me.

Obi-Wan startled out of his quiet meditation and leaned his head into his hands, arms braced now on his knees. This was the tradition of the Jedi, to quietly observe one's first anniversary of knighthood in meditation and reflection, then to spend a quiet evening with one's line: his master and his master's master, his padawan, and perhaps his padawan's padawan.

A line that for Obi-Wan was all but broken - orphaned adult of his master, his master's master now departed the Order and his padawan – ah – his lips curled in a smile, his padawan enjoying his own gift, his tradition while Obi-Wan observed his own.

_I think I will search for you tonight, Master_. The night was still warm with a hint of the night's coolness to come as the sand and rocks of the desert gave up their sun-baked warmth as the twin suns sank over the horizon.

The Jedi slipped into his cloak and passed the night's revelers heading towards the center of town. He headed away from town, letting the Force guide his steps, for where better to seek his master than in the Force itself?

Following the Force, yes, he remembered when he had advised Master Yoda of his plans.

"Qui-Gon Jinn's defiance in you, I sense once again," Master Yoda had accused.

"I follow his lead only in that I follow what the Force wishes of me, master," he had replied. "Lessons of the heart it wishes to teach me."

"What lesson will young Skywalker learn, does it tell you?"

"That is for me to discover as well, master. I only obey the Force."

The two Jedi looked at each other, until Yoda slowly nodded. "Learned to listen to the Force you have, young Obi-Wan. If speak to you it does, go then you should, padawan of my padawan's padawan. In spirit with you I will be, two days hence."

"Your spirit will keep me company, master of my master's master," he had replied, using the formal lineage address.

Yoda had come to accept his decision; Obi-Wan expected to face the disapproval of the Council upon his return. He could just imagine Mace Windu's scowl. He saw a younger version of it all too frequently in his padawan.

Out here under the now dark sky, it seemed there was only the Force and one lone Jedi. If he delved deep enough into the currents of the Living Force, life was abundant: the soft scratch of dirt as lizards scurried from one spot to another, the whisper of tiny wings as insects rode the currents of the air, even the soft scampering of small prey never seen in the day's heat.

Tatooine was not a place Obi-Wan would chose to live in, but it was a place he could easily exist in.

As he followed the Force, the Jedi softly spoke of what was in his heart this night, gave it life by giving it voice, this man who hid his heart from all but his master.

"I'm not alone am I, Master? You're here. I feel your touch in the wind brushing my cloak, see your smile in the stars above and hear your voice in the sounds of a desert night. I wear the Force differently than when I was a padawan; a lesson learned in a manner not of my choosing, but one of necessity, but when wrapped in the Force, I am wrapped in your spirit. Tonight, here where I can feel the Living Force surround me, I will spend this night with you, and remember this night that once, someone loved me, this Gift of the Heart eve."

A gust of wind ruffled his cloak, a swirl of it caught between his legs and Obi-Wan stumbled awkwardly before regaining his balance.

"Good try, Master, I haven't fallen for that one in a long time." A mournful howl sounded off in the distance. "I'm not falling for that one again, either! You were the only Jedi I know who – the only Jedi who pulled pranks on his padawan with the most innocent of expressions, the only Jedi who lived life openly and whole-heartedly, and the only one – until now – who stood up to the Council and dared to follow the Force's lead."

A star twinkled far above, and Obi-Wan smiled as he knelt in the dirt. "I miss you, Master, but I know a part of you is always with me and will be as long as the Force itself exists. I miss you, but I no longer grieve for you. I have let you go and accepted that you still exist in some manner that I too shall know someday."

He settled on the ground, cross-legged. "Tonight, let me tell you about your gift to me a year ago. It'll take all night, I think. Anakin needs much tending, but I see the potential you saw in him…."

* * *

"Mom, he's not answering his comlink." Anakin danced up and down in frustration, worrying his lips.

"You're not worried about him, are you, Ani? He's a Jedi."

"He's all alone, Mom. We have to find him. We have to, please."

"Ani, maybe he wants to be alone. Maybe he left you a message – are you sure he didn't give you a note? Perhaps left a message on your ship? He wouldn't want you to worry, would he?"

"I'm not worried for him, Mom – Master's perfectly safe, he's really brave, it's just…," Anakin's lips quivered with his realization, " – it's just that I remembered – Master Qui-Gon died a year ago and Master Obi-Wan is all alone. I don't want him to be alone; he should be here with us."

"Is that what your heart is telling you? If you search it, perhaps it will lead us to him."

"Mom, you're a genius! The Force will lead us to him." Anakin closed his eyes and tried to remember his lessons. He was so used to just using the Force instinctively that when he consciously wanted to do something, he had trouble accessing it.

"Yes!" He pumped his fists. "Mom, I know where he is and he's not alone – he's with Master Qui-Gon."

"Ani!"

"Well," he scrunched up his face and tried again. "He's talking to Master Qui-Gon anyway. C'mon, he's not that far. I can use this training lightsaber for light."

* * *

The soft sound of approaching footsteps brought Obi-Wan to his feet, shaking his head in total disbelief. Why had Anakin left his mother when he only had a few hours to visit with her – and then he realized Shmi was with his padawan.

"Well, Master, it seems I must turn my attention to the living. You always did tell me a padawan was intensive work. Before I leave, thank you. Thank you for your guidance, thank you for loving me, and thank you for gifting me with Anakin. And may the Force give me patience and wisdom to deal with this boy."

"Master." His padawan stopped and scowled at him, lip outthrust.

"Anakin, let me guess. You didn't listen to the message I left on your comlink. Did you?" With a mournful shake of his head, Obi-Wan sighed. "Shmi Skywalker, I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, your son's keeper. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Knight Kenobi, it is mine as well. Please call me Shmi."

"Please call me Obi-Wan." He smiled, then turned a frown on his apprentice. "And you, young one, explain yourself. You were supposed to spend this evening with your mother."

"But, Master!"

Over Anakin's head, mother and master exchanged knowing looks – and smiled in mutual understanding. With a wink at each other, both exclaimed in unison, "But, Anakin."

"Mom! Master!"

"All right, Padawan. Explain away." Obi-Wan laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder as his mother did on his other side, and the three headed for town.

"I didn't want you to be alone tonight," Anakin confessed.

Sudden understanding filled Obi-Wan. He came to a stop, kneeled and put both hands on Anakin's shoulders. "I wasn't alone, not exactly. Thank you, though. That was very thoughtful of you, but I really wanted you to have this night with your mother. I don't know if you will have a chance to see her again while you're a padawan, and even one of your extraordinary talents will not be a knight for many years yet."

"Mom, I told you he talks a lot," Anakin complained, looking over his shoulder. "Master – I – uh – we're supposed to give something of the heart, tonight. Right, Mom?" Shmi nodded.

Anakin looked back at his master. "I don't have anything to give you." He scuffled a foot in the sand, then looked up. "'Cept this." He threw his arms around a surprised Obi-Wan's neck and hugged him.

"That's a most wonderful gift, Padawan," Obi-Wan said softly, hugging Anakin back and basking in the affection he could feel in the Force. "Thank you."

He hoisted Anakin under one arm and carried him under one arm, tugging the braid to giggles and protests as Shmi smiled beside them.

The Jedi looked to the sky and smiled. _I know now what gift of the heart I desired. Someone once loved me_; he shifted Anakin to ride on his hip and felt two arms wrap around him: _now another one does._


End file.
